Look, if you’ve ever wanted to cruise Sandton like you own half the JSE, but still need to squeeze into a Woolies parking spot without causing a family meeting, then say howzit to the new Mercedes-Benz CLE 300 Coupé – the love child of the old C-Class and E-Class coupés. Ja, the Germans have been mixing things again. Like biltong in a salad – unnecessary, but you can’t argue with the flavour.
Under the bonnet, you’ve got a 2.0-litre turbocharged 4-cylinder that pushes out a very lekker 190 kW and 400 Nm of torque. It’s not going to scare the pants off a GTI boytjie, but it’ll definitely leave him blinking at the next robot wondering what just happened. 0 to 100 in 6.2 seconds? That’s faster than your cousin changing political parties before an election.
Inside, it’s pure class – a 14.4-inch infotainment screen that feels more like a flatscreen TV than a car dashboard. MBUX voice control responds faster than your mom when you say “I’m hungry” at 5pm. “Hey Mercedes, play some amapiano,” and boom, you’re the main character on the M1.
The ride is smooth enough to make Joburg potholes feel like minor speed bumps (okay, maybe some of them), and the styling? Yoh! It’s sleek, curvy, and low-slung – kind of like that oke at the braai who skipped leg day but still pulls. With frameless doors and that swooping roofline, it turns heads faster than a discounted bottle of Klipdrift.
But let’s be honest – all this swag comes at a price. Starting just over R1.3 million, it’s not exactly budget-friendly. You’re not buying this car for practicality. You’re buying it because you want to arrive loudly and leave quietly.
Final Verdict:
The Mercedes-Benz CLE 300 Coupé is for the South African who’s grown up (a bit), made peace with petrol prices (kind of), and wants a bit of flair without shouting too loudly about it. It’s refined, quick, and cooler than a rainy Cape Town weekend.
Just don’t take it to the Kruger – this isn’t that kind of coupé, bru.
