Imagine the love child of IKEA craftsmanship and a NASA safety bunker — that’s the Volvo EX90. This isn’t just an SUV; it’s what happens when Sweden says, “Let’s put a small nuclear submarine on wheels… but make it cozy.” And now it’s rolling onto South African roads with enough tech to give Elon Musk mild imposter syndrome.

First Impressions: Good Luck Opening the Glovebox

The moment you step into the EX90’s cabin, it feels like you’ve accidentally walked into a luxury Scandinavian minimalist theme park. There are fewer buttons than a yoga retreat, which is elegant — until you realize that even the glovebox seems to require a PhD in touchscreen navigation. “Hold on, am I shutting the glovebox or launching the Netflix app?”

And that panoramic roof? Yes, it makes you feel like you’re cruising under the Milky Way — until a cloud passes overhead and suddenly you panic like you’re in a low-budget sci-fi film.

Power & Range: Silent but Deadly… to Range Anxiety

Under the hood (well, under the battery casing) lies a 111 kWh pack delivering a claimed up to ~600-750 km of juice. That’s like driving from Cape Town to Jozi… plus a bonus loop around Stellenbosch to impress your friends.

The duo of electric motors gives you 380 kW and 910 Nm, which translates to what I like to call “silent missile launch acceleration.” You tap the throttle and it moves with the smoothness of a gliding cat — but with the force of a caffeine-addicted hippo.

Yet, South Africa’s charging scene has less coverage than a beach umbrella in a thunderstorm, so you’ll sometimes find yourself calculating whether that last 10 km of range is enough to make it to a charger… or a coffee shop… or a stranger’s driveway.

 Tech Overlord: The Car That Thinks Too Much

Volvo built this thing with more sensors, radars, and LiDAR than an alien mothership, all wrapped into what they call an “invisible safety shield.” Which is perfect unless the car decides it’s too safe to drive until you update everything at 2am.

Yes, your EX90 may refuse to move because it needs a software patch — which could take 90-minutes and 40 % of your battery. No pressure though; while it downloads updates, you can catch up on that novel you’ve been avoiding.

Pros of the tech:

• A “brain” so powerful it might file taxes for you one day.
• Safety systems that could probably predict your next existential crisis.
• A 14.5″ screen that controls everything — from the stereo to possibly your destiny.

Cons of the tech:

• No actual buttons for physical reassurance.
• The car might start its own update brigade at the most inopportune moments.
• If you like tactile controls, prepare to whisper “physical knob” like a forbidden spell.

Safety: Yes, Seriously

True to Volvo tradition, the EX90 aims to be the Swiss banker of SUVs — ultra safe, extremely diligent, and prone to giving you life advice if you look away from the road too long. It equipped advanced systems that watch EVERYTHING around your car.

If this thing had a theme song, it would be “I Will Always Watch You.” If a traffic sign blinks at you sideways in the dark, your EX90 will tell you like a concerned aunt.

Price Tag: A Small Fortune

At around R2.65 million, this baby isn’t just a car — it’s a status symbol lubricated with range anxiety and Swedish engineering prowess.

Honestly, that price buys you:

• Enough technology to build a moon rover.
• Safety features that could double as personal bodyguards.
• A feeling of superiority over every brakeless two-seater and the minivan next door.

Final Verdict

Volvo EX90 in South Africa?
It’s like dating a thoughtful genius who overthinks everything.
It will impress, cocoon, sometimes glitch, but ultimately wrap you in safety-first Swedish hugs while silently judging your playlist choices.

If you want luxury + EV tech + safety, and don’t mind occasionally arguing with a touchscreen, the EX90 is basically a high-end chauffeur-by-proxy. If you want simplicity… maybe get a bicycle.

Scorecard (out of 10):